Take Your Child’s Career Dreams Seriously

Children have wild dreams, and this is how you can support them so that they land their dream careers.

We were in the kitchen getting breakfast ready. I looked at my husband and said: “I think it is a fact now. Tom doesn’t want to be a Paleontologist like me; he wants to be an Astronaut. How cool is that?”

My husband looked at me with a skeptical face. “It’d be great, but I doubt that will happen.” I got furious: “I grew up with people telling me I couldn’t accomplish my dreams because they were too big. I still did. Imagine what can happen if we support his.”

I’ve heard this story way too many times already. I attend an outreach event or mingle in a happy hour, and we discuss what we do for a living. Eventually, it comes up that I am a Paleontologist, and quite often, I get that sad look:

“I wanted to be a Paleontologist when I was a kid…”

Some people say that paleontologists are just kids who never grow up. Quite accurate. However, it breaks my heart to hear that most of these people abandoned their dreams because of a combination of factors: lack of support, encouragement, and knowledge of how to achieve them.

My children are relatively privileged in that regard, though. Since I have been able to navigate paths nobody I knew had navigated before, I don’t think anything is impossible. If the job exists or can be created, it should be achievable.

My parents grew up during a dictatorship where only wealthy kids were allowed to attend higher education, and schools weren’t widely available. My grandparents came from the lower classes, and they couldn’t support my parents’ education. They never graduated high school. University degrees sounded like gibberish to them. Nonetheless, they saw that I was a good student and had wild dreams, so they encouraged me to keep going, even if they didn’t understand where I was going.

Then degrees kept coming: bachelor’s, master’s, a Ph.D.… I took research positions at prestigious universities and institutions and travelled worldwide for conferences, seminars, and research groups. My parents didn’t fully comprehend my world, but they stayed supportive. I reassured them I was following my dreams, and they felt proud.

How could I make it this far with my background? Simply put, I always looked for mentors. When trying to figure out how to achieve my next step, I would find someone who had gone that far and ask for advice. I became immune to rejection. If I knocked on enough doors, someone would eventually open. And they did. People believed in me and gave me opportunities.

And when the time came, I paid it back.

How I helped Carlos achieve his career dreams

I’ve interacted with multiple Hispanic and Latino families during my scientific career, especially in the US. These families feel comfortable talking to me because I am a native Spanish speaker and understand their socio-economic situation. I am a first-generation college student from a minority demographic, and I never hide this fact about myself.

I noticed that some Hispanic parents are usually concerned that they might not have the financial means to provide a college education for their children. So, I always take the time to inform them about grants, scholarships, and activities that can help their children pursue their goals. It is indeed possible, regardless of their socio-economic status.

During an outreach activity at the National Museum of Natural History Smithsonian Institution, where I used to work during my postdoc, I met Carlos and his family as I told the public about mammoth and mastodon teeth. Carlos was an elementary school student who dreamed of being a paleontologist. His knowledge was mindblowing. At age 8, he could identify all fossils at the outreach table.

Carlos is Hispanic, and his father, who recently passed away, had a neurodegenerative disease that kept him in a wheelchair. His mother, Rosa, was particularly excited to meet me as she thought I was “proving that people like them can also be successful scientists.” Their situation was challenging, but she wanted to ensure their child had an opportunity.

After that meeting, I started inviting Carlos and his family to attend other outreach activities that would add to his extracurricular activities. I gave them a behind-the-scenes tour of the museum. I helped them with grant applications. I checked in with them regularly.

Over the years, I discussed academic opportunities with Carlos’ family. We examined the best universities if he wanted a career in paleontology. I wrote letters for his college applications. Once he was admitted, I contacted the head of the Paleontology Department at that university. We hadn’t formally met but knew about one another’s research.

Carlos is now a Sophomore and actively collaborates in the Paleontology Department. His qualifications are exceptional, and he is highly motivated to fight for his dreams. Rosa always tells me that if it weren’t for my mentorship, they wouldn’t have known how to make it this far.

It may be true, but I’m not special. I know about my field, and I’m eager to help. And I know there are others like me because they helped me, too. I made it here because of them.

How can I support my children’s future careers?

Now, how does this translate to my children? I’m not an Astrophysicist. But if my child says he wants to be an Astronaut, I’ll ensure I’m not the reason he doesn’t achieve his dream.

He was three when he told us about his future intentions. What did we do? We bought him more books about astronautics, even if they were written for older kids. We learned about astronautics ourselves. We took him to both of the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museums. I texted my friend at NASA and asked her how I could support my child.

I found out that there are summer camps he can attend in middle school and internships he can do at NASA during high school.

He also has a mother who won’t hesitate to look for a university professor in the area who can mentor him. Of course, I will ask him to email the professor himself.

I am also a university professor, although I now have an adjunct position. And I have never missed a child’s call for information and support. I’ve given talks to children of all ages, answered their questions, and always treated them respectfully. And I know other scientists will do the same for your children.

I want my children to understand that the sky is the limit and that the only failure is never trying. Lack of opportunity shouldn’t be an excuse anymore.

What about my younger child? She just turned two, so we are unsure what she’ll like. However, I’ve noticed that she is extremely good with geometrics and understands volumes quite well for her age. So, for now, I’m encouraging her with constructive toys that let her explore these concepts in a very tangible way.

When her brother was her age, he wasn’t that much into geometrics, but he loved books. We read his books every day. He’s now fluent in three languages. He just turned four.

My children are not gifted in a particular way; they are just stimulated according to their interests. Caregivers are responsible for ensuring children have the tools to achieve their dreams. And these tools can be free, like asking someone for expert advice.

So, back to my initial question: What if your child wants to be a paleontologist, an astronaut, a soccer player, or any other cool job they can dream of?

Don’t be a dream killer. Take them seriously; they mean it. I’ve met many grown-up children who have achieved their dreams: paleontologists, scuba divers, astronauts, firefighters, police officers, doctors, excavator operators, and hairdressers…. And I am one of them.

Find the people in your area who have achieved these dreams, get out of your comfort zone, and reach out to them. Be part of your child’s support system. Feed the fire any way you can. A supported child will become a confident adult, and never underestimate what a confident adult can accomplish.

Thanks for reading